Monday, January 31, 2011

You mean the world to me

I have been flat out doing your charity stuff lately, I am humbled by the unbelievable response that I am having with the scrapbooking world. Thank you to all you scrappers out there that have rallied with me to make Harrison's charity come together. I hope he is looking down and being so proud of his mummy.

I miss you so very much. I just wish you were here. Being near the Mater on Saturday night makes me miss you even more. Next week I am making a trip up there to drop off more cards and your albums. It is always hard to go there, but there is where I feel close to you, except sometimes I just want to make sure you aren't there, it is this pull because sometimes I just want to make sure they didn't get it wrong. I wanted a miracle and my miracle didn't come.

I constantly question God. Why?? Why let me carry a baby for 9 months? Why give me so much hope to then take him away from me. I have so many regrets, so many wishes that will never come true.

Harrison my sweet little boy, I love you, as time goes by the pain never goes away, I think you learn to live with the pain and the sadness. I love you. I hope the angels rock you tonight and sing to you untill you go to sleep. I love you my sweet little angel. Love Mummy

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