I miss you so very much. I just wish you were here. Being near the Mater on Saturday night makes me miss you even more. Next week I am making a trip up there to drop off more cards and your albums. It is always hard to go there, but there is where I feel close to you, except sometimes I just want to make sure you aren't there, it is this pull because sometimes I just want to make sure they didn't get it wrong. I wanted a miracle and my miracle didn't come.
I constantly question God. Why?? Why let me carry a baby for 9 months? Why give me so much hope to then take him away from me. I have so many regrets, so many wishes that will never come true.