Friday, October 1, 2010

September 15th, the day Harrison went to be with Jesus

This was the hardest day of my life, it was so bitter sweet, as it was the day my dearest Harrison went to be with Jesus, but it was the day I finally got to hold my baby. I can't thank the nurse, Maree enough who looked after Harrison that day. She was fantastic and she is the person we needed on that day, I knew he was in very capable hands. Harrison took a dive at 2.30am in the morning. I got a phone call up in my room at about 3.30am telling me that he took a dive but he was stable, but his blood pressure hadn't gone up to what they like it. I went down at about 8.30am after I got all my tubes and things out and was given the ok to go down. I was horrified when I saw Harrison, as from the night before he looked a perfectly healthy little baby with lots of tubes, but then that morning he had gone a grey colour. They just kept repeating that he was a very sick little boy. the nurse filled me in that morning and she walked away and I just started to cry as he looked so sick. Throughout the whole day I watched machines, and your told what things mean so the whole day I prayed and watched these numbers not do what you want them to do. It was the most heartbreaking and frustrating day of my life. As I mother you want to pick up your baby and hug them and tell them it was going to be ok, but you can't and you just want to fix it. The only time we were able to hold Harrison was when we knew he wasn't going to make it I just kept touching his hair, and trying to take in everything.

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