I layed awake half the night last night, you are constantly on my mind. I started to think I was doing ok, but it is back to being hard. After the debriefing I felt like Harrison didn't have much of a chance to live. It is so hard as my friends have gotten on with there lives and i am stuck and I don't feel like I can get on with my life. I am not ready to move on. My life has changed now and there is a part of my heart that is gone forever and is replaced with sadness. Christmas coming up bothers me as I won't have my baby boy there with us. I still have to face getting Christmas laybys off with toys for him in it. I miss you today Harrison, like every other day, today is just filled with sadness. I love you, I am sending you a kiss and a hug with lots of love from me.Friday, October 29, 2010
People move on, but I can't
I layed awake half the night last night, you are constantly on my mind. I started to think I was doing ok, but it is back to being hard. After the debriefing I felt like Harrison didn't have much of a chance to live. It is so hard as my friends have gotten on with there lives and i am stuck and I don't feel like I can get on with my life. I am not ready to move on. My life has changed now and there is a part of my heart that is gone forever and is replaced with sadness. Christmas coming up bothers me as I won't have my baby boy there with us. I still have to face getting Christmas laybys off with toys for him in it. I miss you today Harrison, like every other day, today is just filled with sadness. I love you, I am sending you a kiss and a hug with lots of love from me.
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My heart goes out to you. I lost my precious baby daughter more than 24 years ago and not a day goes by that I don't think of her. There does come this awful time when you realise that you are alone in your grief, everyone else has moved on and their lives have returned to normal but you haven't. All I can say is that eventually you will learn to look as though you are carrying on a normal life and then one day you will be, it's just a journey you must take. But being a mother to an angel baby means that you carry them around with you for the rest of your life.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your beautiful comment.
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