Yesterday I went and saw my friend who has had her baby. He was gorgeous. I decided not to hold him, I just couldn't. The last new born baby that I held was my son and that is where he died, in my arms. It is just to hard to see a little baby, I just wanted Harrison in my arms again so badly. Life just doesn't seem fair. I wish I could be up all night with Harrison, having a good night sleep is over rated. I would give anything to hear my baby crying at night. I would give anything to give Harrison a hug.
People say all the time, it will get better, well they obviously haven't lost a baby, because it certainly doesn't feel like it is getting better. I know the pain changes eventually. But you have constant reminders all around of what I don't have.