Another day goes by

7 weeks today since you died. Sometimes it feels like that day was a dream. A horrible nightmare. Those 7 weeks seem like a long time ago, Sometimes I question myself because I can't remember everything that happened. Did I kiss you enough? Did I tell you I loved you enough. Did you know I was there? Those questions are constantly on my mind. Did you know that I was holding you when you died? Gosh it just doesn't seem fair to just have a box of things instead of you. I love the photos of you but I would rather have you. I have a photo that the hospital gave me beside my bed, it is one of the first photos taken of him. He looks so beautiful and so healthy in a way. I wish my baby was here, I never got to see his eyes open, I never got to hear his little cry. Those are the things I wish dearly for. I miss you Harrison as always. I love you.