Thursday, November 18, 2010

I found this poem and it explains everything, people say the strangest things, or they don't talk about Harrison at all. When people do that it is like they are denying his existance. I want people to talk to me about Harrison. When I hear his name it makes my heart race. Even though I am still full of sadness, I want the world to know he was here. I want the world to know he was here for 28 hours and those 28 hours was life altering for me. Those 28 hours were the longest and the shortest 28 hours. So if you know someone who is grieving, talk to them. Even just tell them your sorry. If talking is to hard write them a letter. this poem says it all.
Don't Tell Me
Please don't tell me you know how I feel,
Unless you have lost your child too,
Please don't tell me my broken heart will heal,
Because that is just not true,
Please don't tell me my son is in a better place,
Though it is true,
I want him here with me,
Don't tell me someday I'll hear his voice,
see his face,Beyond today I cannot see,
Don?t tell me it is time to move on,
Because I cannot,
Don?t tell me to face the fact he is gone,
Because denial is something I can't stop,
Don't tell me to be thankful for the time I had,
Because I wanted more,
Don't tell me when I am my old self you will be glad,
I'll never be as I was before,
What you can tell me is you will be here for me,
That you will listen when I talk of my child,
You can share with me my precious memories,
You can even cry with me for a while,
And please don't hesitate to say his name,
Because it is something I long to hear everyday,
Friend please realize that I can never be the same,
But if you stand by me,
you may like the new person I become someday.
Judi Walker(In Memory of Shane)Copyright 1998
People tell me at times how Harrisons story is so sad and they don't want to cry in front of me because they don't want to get me upset. I don't mind you crying in front of me, I think of it as you are crying with me. What happened to Harrison is a tragedy, and it shouldn't happen. Bt do understand the pain that you feel for me is only a fraction of what I feel. Like the poem says don't tell me to get over it because I never will. Also don't tell me how to grieve because I need to he was my son.
When my babies are placed in my arms you fall in love. It is the deepest, most overwhelming love that you can possibly imagine. This is your baby who you would give anything for, give up your life for. I think most mothers would know that love, and it is hard to explain to those that don't have children. Harrison was placed in my arms and I only got to hold him for about 1 and a half hours before he died. That is my definition of torture. Your baby taken away from you who you love so dearly. And only mothers that have lost there children know how that feels.
Harrison I miss you, every day. I love you. Love Mummy

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