Friday, November 5, 2010

Say nothing at all.....

It has been interesting what people do and don't say to you after you lose someone. I have had people avoid me so much that it is so obvious. I have had people say the most unblievable things to me, that it stuns me into disbelief. Yesterday I had someone ask me if I thought I was a better person. I couldn't believe it. My son died in my arms only 7 weeks ago. Gosh sometimes you just want to scream. The hospital and medical professions call losing your baby a trauma to someone, and it is. It is the most traumatic experiece that I have ever gone through, and I don't wish it upon anyone. Honestly I will never be the same again. I am sure that person probably didn't mean it or maybe realised what she said. But I am grieving, and I am so angry at the world and at God so don't ask me if I think I am a better person. I don't think I would be able to reflect on that for along time. I don't think people really know what to say in situations, my biggest thing to tell people don't think you have to say anything. Do a kind act of cooking a meal, because that speaks volumes that you are there for them. And to be there to listen. Just sit and let that person talk, even if everyday they say the same thing. that is ok. We have been blessed with people making us meals, and every now and then people still do and it is the best thing people can do, we also have people take our ironing. These people have been wonderful, as they want to do something for us because they know we are in such emotional pain with our grief they know they can't take that away so they take the stress of everyday life away by doing little things. I have some friends around that just listen and they make my life so much more bearable.

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