Saturday, November 20, 2010

It hit me yesterday

Yesterday afternoon, I had left a girlfriends place and was on my way to school to pick up my 2 older boys, as I was driving along a saw a women walking down the road, she had this gorgeous baby boy, who looked about how old Harrison would have been. He was up over her shoulder and he was just holding his little head up, and he was dressed in a very cute outfit. Well it was like I had been hit with a truck. I was overwhelmed with the most uncontrollable grief. I started to cry. I just thought that is what Harrison would be doing.
Then I got to school I tried to contain myself, walked in Cody went and played on the playground, he is starting to get to that age now where he happily goes plays and doesn't need me to stand right beside him. I sat there thinking how it would have been ok if Harrison was here. I would have been able to have Cody playing on the playground and I could have been feeding Harrison. Then reality strucks again and you realise that is going to happen. This made me so upset. I am usually someone who won't get emotional in publie. Then a girlfriend came up to me and asked how I was, I just started to cry, I explained to her about the baby. I lost it, It came out of left field for me. It had to be the day my son wanted me to wait for him and not meet him at the car, so I sat there trying to fight tears back untill the bell rang. I just needed to leave and get out of there. I just wanted my family together, Harrison with us.
Harrison I love you. I miss you. I miss you so very much.

1 comment:

  1. Mel, just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and your family and keeping you in my prayers.
    Many hugs to you all.