It is so hard to understand....

Over the last 7 weeks I have been left wondering and asking why?? I don't understand why God gave me Harrison, for him to take him so soon. I know when they told me about Harrison I was so afraid I would never get to see him alive. I just wanted some time, with him. I guess I was blessed with 28 hours, but I want more. I am not sure why God does this. One day when my time is up and I get to meet God, we will be having a big chat about why? Sometimes I question if I am being punish for something I have done. You question whether your a good parent. There are so many questions, and why is the biggest.